A Whole New Year

I really tried to get blogging mastered last year but apparently 2014 is actually my year to accomplish that task so here we go.

For a few months last year I went Paleo-ish.  I found this amazing natural health doctor (whose name I refuse to give) and when I brought my baby Luna to him to see about her scaly rash spots he suggested cutting all grains and all dairy. I thought, ‘Well that’s half of my diet,’ but, I said “Okay.”

When I returned home, I immediately researched diets with no grains and no dairy and came across The Paleo Diet. I visited many different pages and read many different reviews and testimonials and the tagline for people who go on this diet would be: Paleo, it’s more than a diet, it’s a lifestyle!  

Okay so try to follow me on this tangent.  I imagine this statement being said in a very monster truck rally rock voice with super metal mashed up with cave people band music like from Caveman featuring a Mr. Richard Starkey (extra points if you can tell me who this is without looking it up – we’ll have to use the honor system).  Don’t be a cheater! Anyway, so if anyone can make an audio clip of what I hear in my head based on that description; that would be awesome.

They’re kinda right by the way. I didn’t even commit to it hardcore and I can list tons of noticeable differences that appeared fairly quickly in my life and that just made me wanna go Paleo crazy.  After that I was hooked and I started to use paleo in more abstract terms. For me it brought forth many different words that connected to it; tribal, (mother) natural, ancient, holistic, shamanic, communal living, spiritual oneness with the earth, free loving hippie shit.    AND THEN  .           .          .   I had to reign myself back in a little bit and take it piece by piece.  So, I tried to think in terms of a cave person (equal opportunist here) and what life would have been like, back then, during cave people times and I applied [my interpretation of it] into every [literally every] area of my life.

Cloth Diapers – more paleo

Birth Control – less paleo

Co-Sleeping – more paleo

A Family Bed – super paleo

Unschooling – more paleo

Eating with your hands – more paleo

Breastfeeding – totally paleo

Wilderness Training – sort of paleo

Cody Lundin – So paleo he doesn’t wear shoes (he’s my Hero)

Using shampoo – not paleo

Using coconut oil like the guy in My Big Fat Greek Wedding uses Windex – incredibly paleo

And so it became a comedic line for my husband to say when I would be getting on my soapbox about something (which I do frequently) and so the phrase, “It’s More Paleo!” was born.

I started going on the Paleo path (April 2013) and then I left the trail (September 2013).

I went off because .  .  . I got lazy and fall came and “OH NO! I can’t go a season without making cookies! I just CAN’T!” And so I made batch after batch of delicious homemade cookies filed with love (and later regret – which is when they started tasting like crap). And then I realized, ‘boy I sure do have a lot of pasta I need to get rid of if I’m going to really be Paleo,’ so we ate nothing but, pasta and faux pasta (you know the freeze-dried, processed ones in the tear top bags).

You would think the madness would stop there but, oh no my friends allow me to take you further down this rabbit hole of indulgence and despair; being slightly dramatic for emphasis here – SLIGHTLY!  At this point I am physically so exhausted from filling my body with garbage (ultra processed, sugar laden carbohydrates) that we just eat out because I am too tired to cook. And .     .     . *cue my whiny girl voice here* .    .    . being Paleo is really hard (it does take commitment) and its expensive (it can be) and I love carbs (who doesn’t?!) but, I LOVE carbs (of course, they’re addictive).

Even after all that backsliding, I’m going to drag my ass out of the delicious donut hole I got myself into and give paleo living another try and hopefully build a community along the way because there’s more to food than just eating it and there’s more to the world than just being in it.  **Awwww, that was a beautiful sentiment from yours truly, you’re welcome.** So I am going to begin with FOOD  .  .  . glorious food, we’re anxious to try it.

Now, let it be stated at this point that I am not a chef but, I do like to cook.  Food preparation is a very self nurturing act but, there is definitely something to be said for the Culinary Arts because presentation is just that; ART.  I hope to get the right people together to show you beautiful food on here someday. Until then please accept my real life best attempt to make it look edible.

**You know those FAIL pics on the Pinterest? I hope to fall somewhere between the actual pin and the fail.

Here’s a DISCLAIMER: You’ll most definitely come across things on here that do not fit the standard paleo, primal, vegan, raw, organic foodie’s specs but, you will also come across food that is a whole shitload healthier that what you’re probably currently eating.  You’ll also encounter foul language (that’s part of the “detoxification” process).  My goal is to simplify this process for the everyman, for the poor man, for the AmeriCAN.  yeah!

I am going to embark upon a paleo .  .  . primal .  .  . holistic .  .  .  let’s just say a healing journey of sorts which include both inner and outer work.   And I am going to bring you right along with me because we’re all just part of one really big tribe.

One response to “A Whole New Year

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